- Vancouver, British Columbia -
I have a problem. Last year, my boyfriend told me that he loved me and wanted to spend the rest of his life with me. The thing is, I agreed with him and told him that I was his forever. The problem is that was a year ago and he isn't anything like I remember him. He plays video games all day, smokes weed, and hate babies. He says that he loves me, but I wouldn't know it. We live together now and I find myself being disgusted by him. His BO is awful and brushing his teeth seems like it is optional in his mind. The worst is when he tries to kiss me. His breath tastes like scrambled eggs....except they have gone off a long time ago. What can I do to bring back the man that I loved?
- Sincerely, A Grossed Out Princess"
NO: The sad part of life is that people change. For better or worse, we all change through the years. There can be a variety of reasons for this happening, but what it seems like is that your boyfriend got too comfortable in your relationship. When people get comfortable in relationships, it can be an awesome thing, which pushes the couple forward, or something that turns things sour.
When you get closer and comfortable, you feel more honest, and can tell your companion things you wouldn't tell other people. They become your other half, therefore, your secrets, your thoughts and feelings become more apparent and ready for the other person. To some people though, it also means they can stop trying or stop putting in the effort, because they already have their companion.
The best thing for you to do is talk to him. You guys have been together for quite some time, and it's a shame to throw it away. Tell him his hygiene is unattractive, and you are repulsed by his actions. Let him know that you want him to put some more effort into it. As a guy, speaking from experience, sometimes we just need a little reminder that woman aren't just a pal you have around, but ladies, and that they should be treated as such. Tell him you want him to take you on a date once in awhile, and that should get him off the couch and into a restaurant. As for the marijuana, that's a whole different fish to fry. Talk to him about it, and tell him it makes you uncomfortable. If he loves you, he will make a sacrifice for you, and that's something you'll see.